Blood Brothers
by Andra Sashner
Summary: SERIES OF ONESHOTS: Between and behind the shots of the anime series lurk more reasons and relationships of the FMA cast. Brothers, comrades and friends. The blood brothers by blood of Family and blood of Company.
1. Alive

**ALIVE**  
**Summary:** He's not alive, not really. But should living really be defined by the physical senses?  
**Timeline: **_Alphonse and Edward return to Rizenbul escorted by Major Armstrong after their face-off with Scar._

* * *

-- 

"You're not afraid of the dark anymore, are you, Al?"

"Eh?" Al tilted his armour helmet head a little toward his brother. They lay side by side on the grass of this hill near what remained of their home, looking up at the stars.

The countryside had no real streets and therefore few lamp lights. But it was quite bright, the moon and stars blanketing the vast lands in a soft glow, the sky looking as though it were made more sparkling light than actual dark sky. Ed himself seemed ethereal in this light and Al momentarily forgot what was being said as he stared at the way his brother looked in the moon and star light.

"You aren't afraid of the dark," Ed repeated, remaining mostly motionless, arms folded beneath his head as he continued to star-gaze.

"Oh." Al looked back up at the sky, his armour clanking noisily as he turned his head… or helmet. Even now it was all still confusing. "I guess it's because I know not much can hurt me now. Shouldn't that be a _good _thing? With this body, how could I come crawling into your bed at night?" He laughed a little to himself at the mental image but quickly stopped. Ed didn't always like the sound of his laughter. After a while, he asked, "Why does it bother you?"

"I just wondered." Edward sighed, and Al could sense his older brother was in one of his sad, angrily contemplative moods.

Edward didn't get like this often but when he was injured and he was reminded of his mortality, the mood would surface and he'd become surlier than ever. Alphonse figured it was because Ed had risked himself and therefore risked his promise to restore Al's body.

But Al had decided long ago that he would simply continue to encourage his brother to pursue their goal. The mood would pass, it always did.

"Ne, _nii-san_, why did you wonder that?" he asked softly, "Why that in particular?"

"Sometimes," Ed replied, his voice just as quiet, "I wonder what you… feel. How you live."

Al, knowing Ed meant so much more than those simple words and being afraid of the dark, thought about that for a long while; Ed would wait.

It was true there were a lot of things exceptionally different about his… body? Shell? Vessel? For example, he had no way of looking at anyone from the corner of his eyes. He had to turn his noisy, clanking helmet piece to actually _look _at anything. And he couldn't _feel._ It meant he couldn't feel pain but it also meant he couldn't feel pleasure... couldn't feel his brother's touch; not anyone's touch.

He could lift his brother up when the young state alchemist was injured, and bring Ed to medics. But he could not tell if the pressure he applied was too much or too little, didn't know if in his panic he was hurting his brother. He could pick up a little stray cat, feel compassion for the poor creature, but he could not feel the fur or the animal's purrs. There seemed to exist a delicate balance between his _being_ and _living._

Though, he got angry, sad and happy as normal. He laughed at things that were funny, and Ed would often give him strange looks when he did…

Then it struck him.

"I still feel," Al said softly, the pieces of Ed's mood falling into place in his mind. "I get scared sometimes that I can't protect you. That you, as a state alchemist, will be sent where I cannot follow and that I will have to watch you go… maybe not see you again." If he could have given a breath at this point, he would have. There was a pain in him that he could not fathom and could not ease, one that felt as though it were coming from his chest… a chest he did not have. He pushed that thought away and said, "I'm afraid that you will end up losing more limbs trying to help me. That one day, someone might need to bind your soul to armour, too, if things go wrong."

For a rare moment, Ed remained silent and simply listened.

"But, I do try not to think about that, the future. Sometimes, I like to think about how I remember things; the past." He felt himself smile, though there was no face to smile _with_ he smiled in his… soul. And in his soul, he felt almost happy. "Things from when I had my body. I still have a lot of memories of living in a flesh body and what everything used to feel like. And now, I'm happy that I am at least here with you, that we were never parted. And I'll keep trying to be with you as often as I can, as close as I can."

"We protect each other, keep each other safe," Ed muttered agreeably, his voice thick.

"Yeah, together," Al echoed. "Because you know, I do feel. I feel happy when I am with you, happy when we help people, and when you go off to fight, I feel worry for you. You know, even if I cannot feel your touch or smell Winry's new perfume… I can see and hear."

Ed let out a sigh, a release of pressure from his emotions. It was a sound that Al knew very well from his usually stoic brother. The sound that meant Ed was suppressing tears, saving his face.

They lay for a long while until from the next hill over, a search light flashed from the second floor of the Rockbell house. The brothers heaved themselves up to their feet in unison, recognising Winry's signal and began the walk back. Al wondered about Ed's new auto mail and how soon they would be leaving. He wondered if Aunt Pinako would pack them food to take on the trip enough for Major Armstrong, too and—

"Sometimes, I miss my arm and my leg," Ed muttered. Alphonse thought about that statement, how it applied -in a way- to him, too. "I miss... being able to feel with them, gauge pressure and really sense touch with them. When it's winter, the metal is cold and it… hurts."

"I don't hurt, _nii-san_, I—"

"That's not what I meant!" Ed snapped softly. "I… I know what it's like to miss your limbs and I… you've lost… I…"

"I suppose it's useless of me to say it's alright," Al sighed. Ed gave a short, wry chuckle. "But I don't think you understand how I feel."

Ed turned to give Al a startled look before returning to face ahead as they walked. "I guess not."

"If I had to trade my body in order not to die and to continue to be with you, I am glad. If I had to trade my touch, smell, and taste to keep my sight and hearing, I am glad."

Ed gave a soft whimper at these words.

Al said lowly, forcefully, "I love you, _nii-san_. You saved my life."

"I put it at risk in the first place," Ed choked out.

"I was just as much a part of mother's transmutation as you were,_ Nii-san. _And you are trying to make things better, make things right." Al listened to the clanking the armour made with each step he took, the sounds echoing in him as though he really were in the armour and not _the _armour. He said, "You are doing enough, trying to give my body back to me."

"I am _going_ to give your body back to you," Ed corrected gruffly; temper flaring at what he momentarily thought was doubt of his promise.

"I know."

They were passing through the Rockbell property gate when Ed muttered, "I love you, too, Alphonse."

"I know that, too."

--


	2. The Lost but not Forgotten

**The Lost but not Forgotten  
**16 April 2007

**Timeline:** Rizenbul, Edward has stepped out of the outdoor shower and Winry confronts him about the 'note' engraved into the lid of his pocket-watch.  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own Full Metal Alchemist, although I really wish I did. Being poor, I cannot afford to pay for your emotional therapy should you find my work distressing in any way.  
**Rating: **PG

* * *

--

"It's because you won't cry that I cry for you," Winry sniffled.

Edward Elric looked down at the pocket watch in his hand, guilty at having made his dearest friend cry. The wind blew softly, chilling the water still dripping from his hair and skin but he ignored it.

Closing his auto-mail hand carefully around the intricately crafted status symbol, he asked softly, "Does it bother you that Al and I have returned?"

Winry's eyes widened at the question. She understood, of course she did, for no one knew Edward Elric any better than Winry Rockbell, save for Ed's brother Alphonse. Not even Colonel Roy Mustang could truly fathom this young man of a child prodigy.

Edward worried that returning to Rizenbul, as he had promised himself not to, re-awakened memories for Winry and Aunt Pinako that he and his brother did not wish them to bother themselves with. Hell, they didn't want to remember either. So much for promising never to return…

"No!" she exclaimed vehemently, stepping forward to lay a hand on his auto-mail arm.

Ed glanced quickly up at her, noting that she, the only one who ever did, did not flinch at the chill of his fake limb. She, his mechanic, would never consider his prosthetic as anything less than part of the Edward he had become since that stormy night years ago he had been brought to her and her aunt incomplete and bloody.

"I… we missed you. We never thought that you would not come back, never mind you burned your house down. We are your home now Ed, Aunt Pinako and I." She tilted her head at him, a ghost of a smile, flitting across her lips. Ed figured she was aiming for reassuring but the actual expression seemed somewhere nearer forlorn and sad. "You can come home to us, if not the house you grew up in."

Ed looked away, his eyes seeking the landscape of rolling hills and grassy lands between where he stood and the horizon. This really _was_ his home, house or not, Winry and Pinako or not. That really would never change, would it? He had been born here. Alphonse had been born here. Here, they had taken their first steps into becoming the infamous brothers they were today. Shit, he thought, I am never going to escape this place.

Frowning a little, he looked back over at Winry. She had pulled her hand back; it curled on her chest above her sternum. He wondered when she had pulled away, when it was that she had curled her shoulders this way looking so defeated and worried.

For him.

"Winry," he muttered, "I don't have to come back anymore after this."

Tears came to her eyes and Ed wondered if she perhaps might be relieved. He would be, were he in her shoes. He could understand it if a peaceful civilian saw no more of his face, would suffer no more of the calamity and crises he brought down around him on a weekly basis. Heck, if he could escape himself, he would. He just wanted the damn Stone and this would all be—

"You're such an idiot!"

"Huh?" Ed started violently, blinking. She had such a way of exploding sometimes that even he, with his tuned battle senses, could not always anticipate her tempers. Well, anyone _female_ and he always lost all sense of how to deal with them…

"You think that leaving is going to make things better?!" Winry asked, red creeping up her neck and into her ears. Uh oh. "You think never coming back is going to stop making me miss you or worry about you?!"

The colour bloomed across her cheeks and Ed _knew_ he was in real trouble this time. He put up his hands and grinned sheepishly, making placating gestures but Winry Rockbell was having none of it. As even her forehead turned a dull red, Ed began to back away.

"You _idiot!_" She repeated loudly, clenching both fists at her sides, advancing. Ed found himself eternally grateful they hadn't had this conversation as she'd worked on his auto-mail earlier… when she'd have had tools near at hand for ammunition.

He backed warily away, "Winry…?"

"How can you even _think_ that after everything I just said?" She shook her head and huffed with annoyed disbelief. "You really have no idea, do you? Edward," she waved a finger under his nose, "I always thought you knew when to back away from something but I didn't think you had descended so far all the way to _cowardice._" She smirked evilly, "For you, that is too _low…_"

Edward saw red. He yelled back, "Who are you calling smaller than an auto-mail bolt?!!"

"Your _brain_ is smaller than an auto-mail bolt!" She shouted, throwing her hands up into the air. "Aunt Pinako and I _love_ both you and Al, Edward!! Do you remember how much? Do you even remember what our _love_ IS?"

Ed paused, anger fading. He suddenly felt rather embarrassed…

"How dare you insult us by saying we would be better off without you!!" Winry snarled. "You think you're being all _noble_ and _heroic!!_ But all you're really doing is running away!"

Ed looked away.

"_I _am your auto-mail mechanic! You can't _not _see me ever again! And forget about what happens after you get Alphonse's body back, when you don't need my auto-mail anymore," Winry warned. "Did you ever even think about that? Because where are you going after you're done with that mission of yours?!"

Ed stiffened, glad he had looked away earlier and not at that question. It hit him then, really, the end truth of it all. He was to blame. His selfishness had started all of this, had made them do what they had done that terrible night. It was because of him they started this journey, the reason Al had become part of his everyday and every mission's suffering. And Ed did not care if he had to pay the price for it.

This was his fault, all of it, and he damn well would pay for everything he had done.

But he did not want Winry, or anyone else to know that. He always said that he and Al were looking for what they had lost. People, including Al, thought he meant what they had both lost of themselves; Al, his body and Ed, his limbs. But Edward had always meant what he had caused Al to lose.

His missing arm and leg… they had never _truly _mattered. He had used them each to pay the way for the attempted restoration of Trisha Elric and Al's soul-binding. They were, to his way of thinking, the truest equivalent change and which he was had never regretted paying. That night had been what drove the truth of 'Equivalent Exchange' firmly into his head. And heart. He had known then that he would never get his limbs back… and there would be a price, a terribly price, to pay in order to restore his brother.

But no one needed to know that.

He turned to Winry, summoning all the strength in his heart, mind, and soul… and smiled. She hesitantly smiled back, a tentative happiness in her smooth features. She hadn't noticed his pain, Ed thought, both hurt and relieved at the same time.

Yes, no one needed to know.

Not ever.

--


	3. Proof of Life

_Proof of Life  
11th May 2007_

_**Series: **Blood Brothers  
**Fandom:** Full Metal Alchemist  
**Pairing: **None, so stop asking because there. Is. No. Pairing.  
_**  
_Timeline:_**_ Ed and Al lie awake in bed the night after they and Curtis-sensei have taken the unknown homunculus (soon to be Wrath) home. They have discovered the child is in possession of Ed's limbs. Night time; in bed  
**Summary:** There is more to being who you are than possessing a physical body._

* * *

--

"Hey Al?" Ed called, "Remember the time that Barry the Chopped idiot convinced you that you were some fake soul?"

"Yeah, I remember that, Nii-san." Al sounded embarrassed when he said, "And I feel stupid for not having talked to you about it. I promise—"

"That's not what I was getting at," Ed waved his auto-mail hand dismissively, the flesh one comfortably tucked under his head.

"Hmm?"

"I meant that… well, I was thinking about the kid." Ed frowned, "Geez, I don't even know what to call him. Anyway, he got me thinking about you."

Al would have crossed his own brows if he'd had them, Ed could just see it. "Why would he remind you of me? I don't understand."

"Yeah, I know. Sorry." Ed took a deep breath before softly saying, "I just meant that, he's a homunculus. Even if he has a human-looking body, he isn't human."

Al's helmet of a head clanked softly as he asked, "So?"

"But he has my arms and he can do alchemy…" Ed wasn't sure if he should say it.

"Sorry brother, I still don't—"

"Al," Ed said, in a dangerous and warning tone of voice that he knew always made Al wary, put him on his guard. "He's not human but he can do alchemy."

"I'm not sure I… know… what you…" Then when it seemed to hit him, "Mean!"

"Yeah, well I think you got it," Ed muttered crossly. He wasn't sure if Al would take it quite the way he--

Al excitedly announced, "I'm not human either!" –had hoped. This was better.

"That's right, you idiot," Ed agreed calmly. "You can do alchemy even without a body. You're really… you. Heck, that's got to be something that messes with the system."

"I bet as an alchemist," Al laghed, "that one's been eating at you a while now,"

Ed rolled over, grumbling, "Damn straight, it has."

Chuckling, Alphonse observed, "_Nii-san_, you're such a single-minded kind of guy."

"If I wasn't," his brother retorted, "you think we would get as far as we have in so little time?"

"Oh, I don't know," Al said mischievously, "I still have longer strides than you."

"Oh I see," Ed said in a deceptively soft tone. His vocal volume rose dramatically when he rolled over to dangerously demand, "Who you calling so small he can't keep up with an ant?!"

Al giggled.

With a sigh, Edward turned back on his side and muttered, "Transmuting his sorry ass into such a big suit of armour was all my own fault. Should have put him into a doll…"

"But then there wouldn't have been ricocheting bullets or sinking into the sand…" Al laughed again, "Back in the desert that was so much fun seeing you freak out like you did when I grabbed your ankle."

"You're the freak, freak," Ed snapped mildly over his shoulder. "And for goodness' sake, quit reminding me of all the shit I put you through."

A long while later, Al mused softly to himself, "I'm still human…"

Ed smiled, closing his eyes. This ought to sadden him, he considered, wondering why Al would need to find such a thought as profound as he did. But it was just as well. It had given his brother something positive to think about; a new kind of hope. And he could swear even Al's armour had a new sheen to it now. Of course, it was likely his imagination, but it could have been yet another way his brother's soul affected the armour he called his body.

…Just as he practiced alchemy despite it not being a proper physically form.

Yes, thought Ed, letting himself fall further toward sleep. Al was in there. Achieving their goal would only be a matter of time, indeed.

--


	4. Before the Man

**Before the Man**  
**Series: **Blood Brothers  
**Fandom: **Full Metal Alchemist  
**Rating: **PG  
**Pairing: **None, so stop asking because there. Is. No. Pairing.  
**Timeline:** Roy, in his search for the Hohenheim of Light, has come to Rizenbul tracing the letter sent to him from one Edward Elric who claims to be Hohenheim's son.  
**Summary:** The hardened and tried military man is humbled by a child.

* * *

--

When Roy Mustang had come following the return address on the letter, he had been expecting to find a young man who, however obscure, might hold the key to finding Hohenheim of Light's secrets.

He had been right… and wrong.

He had arrived just in time to witness an alchemic burst of multi-coloured light which had frozen him where he stood. He had recognised those colours, that rhythm it danced to –and the charge in the air. He had watched in fearful shock as the light turned foul. Stood frozen, cowardly, so long until the danger had passed and what looked to be a suit of armour come running from the house he sought to another near by.

Coming out from his daze he had found the pace of the gargantuan so purposeful and desperate that it had taken Roy, despite his military fitness, some time to catch up. He could only marvel at the unerring and solid step of the armour... for that was all it was.

He would know the echo of empty armour wherever he heard it, hear the strange hollow sound the rain made on the metal. He had known because he understood, there was no way anyone could perform a human transmutation and not pay _some_ kind of cost. He had known because he had studied everything he could get his hands on in that forbidden field, had half heartedly attempted the transmutation once or twice but always pulled back.

He had heard of the ratio to success in human transmutation; zero percent. And there had been a body in the armour's arms. A form so small Roy knew it had been a child.

A _child._

The atrocity weighed him down, made him slower, the dire implications and Roy's imagination already churning, his heart breaking. It took longer than he expected to get to the other house where the armour had run to. And by the time he got there, the child he had seen had already been attended to.

But the child was alive! How could that be possible? There was no known documentation of success and yet… this was Hohenheim's son. The pieces clicked into place in his head, and in his heart. His mind screamed at him, the child had inherited the secret of human transmutation and could possibly provide more insight into Roy's research. This child would be more than valuable…

And yet his heart told him the child had been born into powerful blood and had inherited more; a heavy burden.

He absently dealt with the old lady, not quite catching her surname, who called herself Pani.. Pika… Pinako. Stern lady, disapproving of his presence, but he had no reason to linger anyway.

After having his say, he stared down at the small sleeping form, studied it. Even from where he stood, the harsh lines on the child's face stood starkly. Roy sympathised. Because, watching the kid sleep, he knew that the next time this boy opened his eyes, he would be a child no more.

Some really did not have that luxury.

Roy understood this. And yet, he felt sorry for him, this Edward Elric, even as he admired this boy for attempting what he himself, a man of the military and cold blooded killer, could not. This boy had truly attempted to raise the dead.

And lived.

This was what shook him the most. The resolve in this boy must have been great, to get Edward through the horrors of the attempt and even through the supposed soul-transmutation, a spontaneous by-product of the original intention and a grand performance of the child's undoubted desperation –all of it and through it all to survive.

It was then Roy knew this child would not stay here any longer. He knew it like he knew his own name.

The boy had become like him: his heart in such great turmoil it demanded of him as a human being to do something, _anything. _Because he had become unable to remain where he was, here at a crossroads where circumstance had forced his hand to make a mad decision that would live in him, haunt him, for the rest of his life. And that haunting would determine a new course in his life, though the specifics of where it would take him remained to be seen.

He wondered what Edward would decide when he woke. But whatever it would be, it would be amazing. He knew that too. And so Roy left his name and title, instructions and a promise. It was all he had to give at that point in time, but it would have to be enough. He knew then that there would come a time their paths would cross again.

One way or another, he would see what kind of man Edward Elric would become.

--


End file.
